I am an average girl. I am average height and weight, I have an average shaped nose, average shoe size and average length of hair. I have an average personality, average looks, average financial situation, I wear average clothes and average-costing makeup. Sure, I might have a talent or two, but I’m not famous because of them – I’m just an average girl with average talents. And no matter how hard I try, I mostly just get average marks at an average school. I am in an average relationship, have the average, supportive friendship with others, and am in an average family. I work at an average inn, live in an average home and live an average life. Sometimes, I am even less than average because I fall short of the expectations people have for me.
I know that I am worth something. I have not figured out how or why, but I just know that I am. On the average day, people will treat me like I am not worth anything, but I know that I am. I have to be – why else would I be here? I have so many questions, so many unanswered questions. But that’s average for me.
And I continue through my average days where I feel alone, tired and worn out that nothing I do can make a difference. That nothing I do really matters. On the average day in this average world, I sit and think about how there must be something I can do to stop all of the wrong things that happen. Yet, there seems to be nothing I can do. No matter how I want to change something, there seems to be no way around it – it looks like a giant wall that is endlessly high and eternally wide.
But something reaches to me over that endlessly high and eternally wide wall. Something NOT average; it is a voice. A voice that whispers to me that His love for me cannot be separated by anything – neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth – nothing in all that has been created can separate me from Him. Not even the height or depth of this wall that stands before me. And suddenly I find myself closing my eyes and taking a step towards the wall that seems so intimidating and impossible. I reach for the voice that continues speaking words of encouragement and hope into me. I grasp the voice and hold it tight, bunching it up to put in my pocket for when I need to hear those words of encouragement again. It shouts at me to keep it open, to let it speak more, but I think that maybe I can make it through another average day without hearing it. After all, if I listen to that voice too much, it might start speaking harsh and awful words to me – I cannot trust it.
But the next average day is… well, it’s an average day. Which means I am stuck once again questioning the purpose of my existence, staring at the wall. Is my purpose to make my boyfriend happy? Is my purpose to make other people happy? Is the purpose of me being here to make the world a better place through teaching others about my passions? While I know that those are things I want to do, there must be something more. Something more than this average life – than going to work, having a great boyfriend, supportive friends and family. But maybe…. Maybe that’s just it. Maybe humans will always want more, but it’s just destiny that they never get more. The wall seems higher than ever now. And I am not sure what to do.
I take out the voice in my pocket. He seems hurt as He speaks, but he continues to speak anyways. And I listen. For a long, long time, I sit near the wall and listen to the voice talk of hope, and a life that is more than average, a life of abundance – but not the kind of materialistic abundance – the kind of joyful abundance where nothing can rip me away from the hope of entering a perfect world one day. As he tells me His story, His intentions for the world, I begin to cry. I don’t even notice my tears until He begins to comfort me, and tell me more of this hopeful world he has in store for me through His saving son.
“Why did this have to happen?” I asked the voice. “Why is there so much evil and hate in the world I live in now?”
“I wanted to give my children free will – I wanted to give them a choice to love me, but some choose to not – they choose to make the world that way with their own poor choices,” He answered.
“But how can you let things like this happen? If you love all of us, please – please do something to save the innocent people from harm!” I pleaded with him.
“Sometimes I cannot interfere with the choices of mankind.”
“But why? You made them!”
The voice does not reply for a moment as if He wants to tell me, but knows I won’t understand. “One day, child, you will understand.”
“I want to know now,” I tell Him.
His answer to that is not one I want to hear: “You cannot know now, it is not within my perfect timing,” He says to me.
I am angry with Him. For a time, I ignore His voice and try to push through the wall. But then I realize something. His voice was the one that gave me hope – He was the one who stood by me at that wall when no one else would. He was there for me; He’s always been there for me, but I had blocked out His voice so many times that I hadn’t recognized Him at first. I turn to the voice with great joy and thank Him for everything He has helped me with. I tell Him I love Him and that I want to follow Him and His will for me.
And suddenly, I am no average girl in an average world. I am the girl of the voice; the girl listening to and being guided through the wall by something that loves her endlessly high and eternally wide. And she lives in a world made by Him, a place where, yes people have made it corrupt, but there is still so much beauty.
On an average day, I no longer feel alone, tired and worn out. I no longer question my purpose because I have a purpose – He gives me purpose. On an average day, I thank Him for all He has done for me, and try to spread His voice everywhere. Although sometimes people are not willing to listen, or they think I am simply hearing things, I try all the harder. People need Him; people need hope just like I did that very day I sat at the wall, questioning my existence. I still need Him, not just in an average day, but in every day, I need Him.
“I AM WORTHY AND YOU ARE WORTHY TOO,” I want to shout to the world. I am NOT worth something because I try hard to accomplish things; not because I have a boyfriend or because I have dreams. No, I am worthy because of something much, much greater than I. And everything that I am, everything that I have, I owe to Him. No matter if you are average, less than average, or more than average in any way. You are worthy of His love; his unconditional, never-ending love. Not worthy because of your successes (or lack of), not worthy because of how many people like you (or dislike you), but worthy because you are His. And He is yours.